An Infinite Number of Monkeys

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Wednesday, May 20th, 2015
12:06 am - I'm doing this wrong.
At first it was just failing to get stuff done--scheduled stuff, guitar practice, writing, exercise, that felt manageable especially with no job to get in the way, and it just ended up taking longer than I thought it would need to. And so every day felt... like I was focused on what wasn't done instead of what was. And I'm working on that. Now, having changed rooms for redecorating purposes a couple of times, I'm losing things. All of my worldly possessions basically are in boxes, but I can't find my Kindle, I can't find Brian's art to hang with the rest of it, I can't find Abbie's photos... It feels like I'm unraveling a little. Like whatever I'm standing on is inevitably being washed away. I almost took up smoking again last week. I thought I'd pared down to the important things and let go of the rest. Apparently there's more paring to do.

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Tuesday, May 19th, 2015
2:13 am - Movin' On
Miss Rose's travel post has inspired me, although mine is far less complicated than hers. Most of my travel is 'drive to Detroit for an evening event'.
But on 22 Aug I'll be in Chicago for the Evil Dead musical--it's apparently finally leaving Las Vegas for a tour. More nebulously, we're taking a trip when it's hot and miserable to investigate how hot and miserable it is in places that we might be moving too. And sometime in the next few months I want to go see Washington or, if that doesn't work out, bring Washington to me for a visit. That's the whole travel plans until November, which I'm hoping will be a full out mad visiting time centered around AmberCon.

In other news, Spring was lovely, and I'll miss it.

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Saturday, May 16th, 2015
9:54 pm - The Crow


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7:01 pm - Gabriela
It surprised me when I held her at first--after my experiences in the past, I didn't expect her to be so light, so delicate. It made me feel very protective, knowing that with a gentle touch I could make her sing, but handling her roughly would make her scream. I cradled her carefully, just stroking her curves, her smooth planes. I ran my finger up her neck, letting my fingernail catch. She purred softly, and a soft warm sense of satisfaction washed over me. All I had to do was tell her, let her know what I wanted. And if I performed well enough, she'd do anything I wanted. She wasn't a classic, but she was classical, and from a good family. Drawing her into my lap, I whispered that it was time to work on that C chord.

EDIT: She does not like being choked, and reacts badly to the capo.

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Thursday, May 14th, 2015
3:01 am - That's what she said.
Flogging Molly, Gogol Bordello, and Mariachi El Bronx all playing a show at Meadowbrook on 11 June.

Shut up and take my money. Right now.

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Monday, May 11th, 2015
11:39 pm - Finally did it.
I finally ponied up and hired me a Classics scholar (PhD punks!) to translate the family motto for me. I've only been talking about doing this for years. Thanks to Fiverr.com by the way for making this happen. For the first time ever, my icon text and my impressive Latin translation:

Dentes acutos atque angustam solvendorum laborum capacitatem.

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Thursday, May 7th, 2015
1:21 am - Ethics. Morals. Fucking with people's heads.
There is a certain frequency of sound--subaudible--that is supposed to make people feel uneasy. At what point does it become ethical to use such knowledge to enhance a 'creepy' game?

No warning?
"This is going to be a creepy game."
"I'm going to be using special effects for mood."
"If you don't want me to play subaudible noises please let me know."
Simply rephrase the first paragraph of this post?
Never?

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Wednesday, May 6th, 2015
11:12 am - You may be right--I may be crazy
My first counselling appointment has a price tag of $250 more or less.
I'm going to have to demand that in the first month they assure me I'll stop making bad relationship choices and am afraid of nothing, rational or irrational. After that we can dig in and really start to work.

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Tuesday, May 5th, 2015
6:38 pm - Drifting, falling, floating weightless.
It's raining, at least sort of. There's a delicate breeze. The hot tub is at a delicious 106o and I can move to various combinations of in and out. I have two speakers and an iPod in a ziploc bag playing my Greatest Hits playlist, and neighbors far enough away that I can sing along and only mildly annoy them. I have my old Kindle in another ziploc, because it has paddles to turn pages instead of a touch screen. Which means there's pulp-style motorcycle-riding punch-throwing action. (Catie, somebody's slacking off on your page. Stone's Throe isn't up there yet.) There's mostly-fresh fruit (from the store so mostly). I may just stay here until I fall asleep and drown.

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Sunday, May 3rd, 2015
10:48 pm - There's a world out there
Seattle/Portland/San Francisco folks, help me with a... discussion I had with a friend. Do any of these activities sound interesting? Don't check the ticky box unless you would realistically be motivated to leave the house to do them--lord knows there are plenty of times when I've said "That sounds like fun!" and then never left the couch because it was too much trouble. Facebookies, you can't do the poll if you don't have an account so I guess leave a comment.



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4:45 am - Learning all the secrets without really trying
From the Buddhist point of view, we human beings live in a very peculiar fashion. We view impermanent things as permanent, though everything is changing all around us. The process of change is constant and eternal. As you read these words, your body is aging. But you pay no attention to that. The book in you hand is decaying. The print is fading and the pages are becoming brittle. The walls around you are aging. The molecules within those walls are vibrating at an enormous rate, and everything is shifting, going to pieces and dissolving slowly. You pay no attention to that, either. Then one day you look around you. Your body is wrinkled and squeaky and you hurt. The book is a yellowed, useless lump; the building is caving in. So you pine for lost youth and you cry when the possessions are gone. Where does this pain come from? It comes from your own inattention. You failed to look closely at life. You failed to observe the constantly shifting flow of the world as it went by. You set up a collection of mental constructions, 'me', 'the book', 'the building', and you assume that they would endure forever. They never do. But you can tune into the constantly ongoing change.

I had no idea I was already such a good Buddhist.

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Tuesday, April 28th, 2015
9:59 am - Yelp Review
My Migraine: Two Stars.
In a word, disappointing. Was able to minimize most effects by curling up in a dark room under a few blankets and trading out ice packs on the back of my neck all night. Swirly star-like things behind my eyelids all the same color, also a boring glowy white. Occasionally slept, with pleasant dreams providing brief release. Nausea which promised vomiting later failed to deliver even with added vertigo effects. Heavily advertised 'icepick through the eyeball' effect underwhelming. Over all, inconvenience instead of promoted misery cruise through shark infested waters. Would not buy again.

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Sunday, April 26th, 2015
7:00 pm - Harold. Also Maude.
On either the first or the second (Next Fri/Sat) I'm going to the Redford to see Harold and Maude. So are you. I don't care what you're doing, or think you're doing, it's not as important as this. And if they ever update their 'coming events/showtimes' message to go past 17 April I can find out what time the show starts.

You know you want to. Where else are you going to see a Jaguar hearse accompanied by a Cat Stevens soundtrack?

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12:24 am - It is done.
The Dalek Girl had transcended that spark of humanity left from her
Skarovian heritage and become an icon. When I saw her on the convention
floor, I had of course left my phone in the hotel room charging. We vaguely
suggested that we'd try to bump into each other when I could properly
capture her glory. She was cute as all hell--reminded me of Dawn--and had a
fantastic outfit full of electric lights and crinoline.

I had a fantastic hour of Tai Chi (along with some pointers at a dojo where
I might get more) and then scarpered up to floor 12 to get the phone.
Mostly hung around Geek Prom/Costume Contest because that seemed like a
logical point to pass her. But no. In fact, my guy with the Costume Contest
wept tears at the lack of her. Perhaps we both did--no one will know.

After the contest had begun, general concensus was that she was hitting the
room parties. I'd already determined that waiting for the lift was either
pointless or just a good way to spend half an hour standing in a lobby
hoping something would eventually show up. So I was up and down the stairs
between 1 and 6, poking my head into open doors, and asking anybody who
would stand still in a place that wasn't amazingly noisy "Have you seen the
Dalek Girl?"

Many of them had, often 'just five minutes ago'. This had become more than just taking pictures of pretty girls. This was now a quest, and just popping off to the bar for a drink and calling it a night was not an option.

I spent far too much of the next two hours 'just five minutes' behind her.
She was a wily quarry, a member of a superior race. I had to start forming
an SMS network, and that was where she finally fell--room 501, showing off
her amazing costume. Graciously, she allowed me a memento (aside from the
amazing state of my calves from those stairs, of course) before flitting
off into the night, blue light flashing a promise that she would EX TER MI
NATE.




(She's so saucy!)

EDIT Thank yous to Google Docs for WTFEver they did here.
It was super helpful. And it totally didn't piss me off.

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Saturday, April 25th, 2015
8:57 am - And now I hear Google Voices in my head.
Here was my test call to see how their transcription does:
And this is where I test their transcription and say something like "Goldfrapp" and see what they think that means.

My results weren't too bad, I guess:
And this is where I get to test the prescription that it might say something like that can going for app. And see what they think that means.

Step Two:
Personalised greetings.

Then:
Find a way to make it stop calling my computer when I get a phone call.

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6:37 am - Insert subject here
Thank you all for the support last night.

I'd gotten a one day job and was out of the house from eight until seven, and wanted to come home and sit in the pool and soak. Until I had jumped through all the hoops and actually gotten there. Then it wasn't what I wanted. So I grabbed my copy of Stone's Throe, which I'd recently started reading and was enjoying. Until then. So I thought fine, I'll *make* some words and sat down with a couple of projects I'm in the middle of. And stared at them blankly. So I threw myself into bed (and did not miss so there's my grace note for the day) to watch Devil Wears Prada which came to me with high marks. That lasted about fifteen minutes when I realized I actively didn't care and should stop watching before my mood spoiled the whole thing. Thought I'd catch up on Facebook. And as fascinating as you all are, I didn't want that either. And all through this not enjoying things I expect to enjoy, it was not increasing my calm.

Good news on the cat front, though. Once I'm asleep my room is okay. One cat sits in the bathroom door staring at the bathroom, the other sits in my computer chair.

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Sunday, April 19th, 2015
2:46 pm - To Do List:
Run on the elliptical
Write edits or god forbid write new text in stories
Catch up with friends on social media
Read more in the SSH book
Finish reading Steampunk World/Review it
Shower
Practice Guitar
Write to Maria
Build mix tracks/gifts on 8tracks
Put job search history into MARVIN
Check email for jobs updates
Play stupid little computer games that waste my time and accomplish nothing

EDIT: Also watch Chromecast on the HUGE tv and wait for one of my photos of the gorgeous Alaskan scenery to come up. May be done in conjunction with other activities.

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Saturday, April 18th, 2015
8:17 pm - Fool! Fool! Back to the beginning is the rule!
Quick jaunt up to Chicago for the weekend. Most of the trappings were Just Fine. Repeatedly unintentionally broke my rule of "If you're going to blow your fats quota, make sure they're awesome fats".

But I got to spend time with people I love and miss dearly, and since that was the primary purpose of the visit, all is well.

And I'm probably going to nap for a few days now, and not go near a car.

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Tuesday, April 14th, 2015
8:31 pm - *blink* Oh yeah. I was going to work on edits this afternoon.
*Guess* what didn't happen this afternoon.

But I went out and fetched up plants for my herb garden. A couple of mints, a cinnamon basil, an oregano, and rosemary--the original target. Also a dwarf spruce, which is getting potted for now while we decide where to put it in:re the ground. I'm hoping it's our new Christmas tree. If nothing else, it's a little more Oregon-y. And it'll get my hands in the dirt in a manageable and not completely overwhelming manner, so here's hoping I can add that to things and keep it there.

Also, yesterday while I was on the patio noodling with my guitar I happened to notice how the light was behaving around the barn and decided to try coming back around that time in the evenings when I actually had a camera on me. Tonight was the first time I actually prepped a shot rather than just sort of stumbling upon it and trying to get some pictures before they slipped away. I liked the feeling of sneaking up on the shot, shifting things around, testing angles, watching the light change, but am disappoint in the results. (A) and possibly the big thing, there was no real direct sunlight. It was overcast all day and so it was diffuse. Which may have played largely into (B) which was that I really didn't notice that much of a difference with all the fussing and changing. (C) Mosquitos. I have set my canon 'gainst them and the bug light is on for the season but I will still have no truck with them, as friendly as they call themselves.

But I got hands-on time with the camera, and played with manual focus and thought about what my f-stop and compsec mentor had told me about depth of field and focus. Perhaps there was a lesson learned regardless of tangible results.

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Wednesday, April 8th, 2015
6:39 pm - Things that make you go Hmmmm
So the NRA has decided they don't want functional guns at their convention, despite the danger of an outlaw bad guy having a gun and shooting the place up.

So the NRA maintains records of their members, thus effectively making a list of people who own guns and are more likely to be politically active about it.

Hmmmmm

EDIT: functional firearms are forbidden on the arena floor where big events are taking place, outside of that only the dealers are required to neuter their guns.
However, they are still collecting names and making a list of known firearm users.

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