I managed to get to where the show is fun before I had to put it away. If you have any plans to see it, I think there are still tickets. But I don't make anybody look bad, and I'm doing my best to make them look good. Folks are saying good things about it. A month ago, I would not have predicted it.
This has been a kind of a traumatic time; I raced the Harley down the coast highway, headlight broken, and in theory it was for fun. I certainly didn't get paid. I didn't go down in flames. I didn't fail spectacularly. I cracked a little, but I didn't break. And I have decidedly if messily removed that huge barrier between me and things I want to do. 25 years earlier would have been more useful, admittedly, but that doesn't mean that this new freedom isn't terrifically scary--it just has less power to transform my life.
I got a lot of praise and support for going up against something hard and scary. And that helped a lot. I would be lying if I said I didn't want that, and that I wouldn't miss it when I go back to doing the hard and less flashy things like eating the way I'm supposed to or exercising regularly or this studio gig or what the hell else. But there are still people who walk with me, and who are looking out for me.
This entry was originally posted at http://cyrano.dreamwidth.org/1132419.htm